"If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you end your story." Orson Welles

I am completely aging too fast. I do not want to grow up. I want to live in this in-between 1030 monocacy-esque life forever. I've been excited to graduate, I've been slightly worried about my life and the future and how I'm going to function in society in two months. I've breifly thought about my own future and where I and the people I love will all be. To tell you the truth..the only thing that I do know is that I don't know any of these answers.

I have yet to hear back from a graduate school. I have yet to decide if I sacrifice a lot of myself and suck it up and work in a pretty demanding lifestyle, even if it was part-time. Or do I just get a full time job? I just don't have a clue. Who will I spend my time with. What will my life be like. I don't want to know because knowing means I'm there.

I do know, however, that this is not that big of a deal in the real scheme of things. I'll be fine. I'll have fun on the weekends or whatever nights that I can afford it. I will be really lame sometimes and I know it already. I will see the people I love as much as humanly possible, wherever they may be, and this is all the truth. I know that these things are easily answered, but that does not mean they are easy to address when you don't know anything about anything else. I can not tell you with great certainty where I will be in two or three months and that petrifies me. I like knowing. I like being in charge of my own life, calling my shots, or at least knowing what is on my plate for the coming days.

I hate being unplanned. I hate mystery, and I crave certainty and I would just really like some answers because this is the most ridiculous feeling in the world.